by Doug Wojcieszak,
I just completed a Sorry Works! training for a senior living community on the West Coast, and was asked a great question: "How do you convey empathy over the phone?
At Sorry Works, we spend a lot of time teaching empathetic communication skills to healthcare professionals, and the basic messaging includes good body language, using words like "sorry," listening, and then calling someone or putting a plan into action to address the needs of the patient or family.
Conveying empathy over the phone can be more challenging. Body language, eye contact, and appropriate touches (hand on arm, hugs, etc) are not possible. In-person meetings almost always beat phone calls, but phone calls can still be good. Think about it...for us older folks we know the value of talking over the phone versus the now popular methods of texting, messaging, and e-mail. You can absolutely connect with a person during a phone call. The human voice is powerful.
Some tips for difficult phone calls: When having a potentially challenging conversation on the phone, remember to take time. Don't sound rushed or give the caller the belief they are being hurried off the phone call. Give it a good five minutes, at least. Really take the time to listen, and since you don't have the advantage of body language occasionally interject small verbal cues such as "OK," "uh-huh," and "go on" to let the other person know you are listening. At some point you may stop the conversation with the following statement, "Mrs. Smith, I want to make sure I heard you correctly, so I am going to repeat what you said...X...X..X....did I hear you correctly?" Repeating words back is a great way for folks to feel heard.
When folks are upset, have a complaint, etc, don't forget to say sorry or show concern in other ways ("that's terrible...I am sorry you are upset"). Formulate an action plan with a measurable next step ("Can I call you with an update at 8am tomorrow morning?). Make sure you have contact information for the caller. Finally, thank the person for calling and sharing their concerns. Patients and families are the reason you have a job.
Now, if a person wants to keep talking and talking, and talking some more, or is pelting you with a circular conversation (repeatedly making the same point or complaint), it is OK to tactfully conclude the discussion: "Mrs. Jones, I have heard your concern about X and have committed to a plan of action.....is there anything else you need help with? I do need to see other patients..."
Lastly, if you don't have time for a quality phone call because there are more pressing or emergent matters, say something like this, "Mr. Watson...thank you for calling me...I can't give you the time you deserve right now...can I call you back at 2pm today?" Most folks will understand. However, you have to follow through on your commitment.
Doug Wojcieszak, Founder and President
Sorry Works!
618-559-8168 (direct dial)
doug@sorryworks.net