There Is No View from Nowhere: Reflections on Empathy and Neutrality in the Mediator's Stance

Can anyone helping with a conflict really be neutral? Probably not. We all bring our own history and views into the room, and pretending otherwise does not make them disappear. This piece looks at what to aim for instead: staying fully present to everyone, holding our opinions lightly, and caring deeply without needing to control how things turn out. Not neutrality, it turns out, but something more honest and more within reach.

Why "You're Being Defensive" Backfires

You finally said you were hurt, and got a wall of reasons back. The words "you're being defensive" are right there on your tongue. Before you say them, here is what actually gets your hurt to land, even when you are right that they are defending.

What Your Phone Does to a Conversation

Research suggests that even an unused phone can subtly reduce feelings of closeness and connection. This article explores how the objects around us shape the architecture of conversation, why shared attention matters, and how small design choices can support deeper listening, empathy, and understanding.

Is Avoiding Eye Contact Always a Trauma Response?

Not necessarily. While trauma can influence how we experience being seen, most gaze aversion has far more ordinary explanations. People look away to think, to listen, to show respect, or simply because direct eye contact competes with concentration. Drawing on the work of Stephen Porges, Allan Schore, Ruth Lanius, and Laurence Heller, this article explores the relationship between gaze, safety, and the nervous system, while challenging the common assumption that looking away always signals emotional wounding.

Storied Feelings: When a Feeling Carries a Story

What is the difference between a feeling and a judgment? Explore the concept of storied feelings and learn how words like disrespected, betrayed, and ignored can serve as gateways to emotional awareness, empathy, and unmet needs.

Beyond the Horn: What Road Rage Reveals About the Terrain of the Body

Road rage is rarely just about the other driver. Discover how stress, dysregulation, and the stories we tell ourselves can turn a minor frustration into a major reaction, and learn five simple practices for bringing more calm to your daily commute.

Elon Musk’s “Suicidal Empathy”: A Flawed Critique or a Necessary Warning?

Is empathy a strength or a weakness? Examining Elon Musk's controversial claim that empathy is "suicidal," this article explores the difference between emotional, cognitive, and compassionate empathy, and argues that the real challenge is not empathy itself, but learning to apply it with wisdom and discernment.

Navigating the Ocean of Emotions: Understanding Alexithymia and Emotional Literacy

Why do some people struggle to identify and express their emotions? Explore the concept of alexithymia, the neuroscience of emotional awareness, and practical ways to strengthen emotional literacy, deepen self-understanding, and build more connected relationships.

When Empathy is Rejected: Staying Open Without Losing Yourself

What happens when your invitation to empathy is met with silence, defensiveness, or dismissal? This article explores how to stay open to connection while honoring your own needs, setting healthy boundaries, and caring for yourself when empathy is not returned.

Empathy Circles: A Path to Understanding in Times of Political Division

What if the goal of a difficult conversation wasn't to persuade, defend, or win, but simply to understand? Discover how Empathy Circles create a structured space for deep listening, meaningful dialogue, and human connection across even the most challenging divides.

Harnessing Emotional Energy to Transform Conflict In Mediation

Conflict is fueled by emotion, yet emotions are often treated as obstacles to resolution rather than sources of insight. Discover how skilled mediators can work with emotional energy, uncover underlying needs, and transform conflict into an opportunity for understanding, healing, and lasting agreement.