Can words like betrayed, ignored, disrespected, or manipulated really be considered feelings? In this mediation story, John Ford explores the concept traditionally known in Nonviolent Communication as "faux feelings" and explains how such expressions can serve as valuable clues to the deeper feelings and needs beneath conflict. Updated with reflections on why he now prefers the term "storied feelings."
Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings
What is the difference between a feeling and a judgment? In this article, John Kinyon explores the NVC distinction between feelings and what were traditionally called "faux feelings"—words such as betrayed, ignored, and disrespected. Accompanied by a contemporary editorial note, the post also traces the evolution from "faux feelings" to the more nuanced concept of storied feelings, where the feeling is real but the language carries a story about cause, interpretation, or blame.