Dr Paul Ekman

On Fear and being Afraid

Source: Atlas of Emotions

 In my dictionary of Feelings and Needs, Afraid is defined as “a feeling of fear, dread, or apprehension in response to a perceived threat or impending danger.”

The following are listed as synonyms: Fearful, Apprehensive, Scared, Terrified

In this post, renown emotions expert Dr Paul Ekman provides further guidance on fear:

What is Fear?

Fear is one of the seven universal emotions experienced by everyone around the world. Fear arises with the threat of harm, either physical, emotional, or psychological, real or imagined. While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe as it mobilizes us to cope with potential danger.

Feeling fear

The family of fearful experiences can be distinguished in terms of three factors:

  • Intensity: How severe is the harm that is threatened?

  • Timing: Is the harm immediate or impending?

  • Coping: What, if any, actions can be taken to reduce or eliminate the threat?

When we are able to cope with the threat, this lessens or removes the fear. Alternatively, when we are helpless to decrease the threat of harm, this intensifies the fear.

Fear can sometimes take place immediately following surprise and often oscillates with the experience of anger.

What makes us fearful

The universal trigger for fear is the threat of harm, real or imagined. This threat can be for our physical, emotional or psychological well-being. While there are certain things that trigger fear in most of us, we can learn to become afraid of nearly anything.

Common fear triggers:

  • Darkness or loss of visibility of surroundings

  • Heights and flying

  • Social interaction and/or rejection

  • Snakes, rodents, spiders and other animals

  • Death and dying

Moods and disorders

Persistent fear can sometimes be referred to as anxiety if we feel constantly worried without knowing why. The inability to identify the trigger prevents us from being able to remove ourselves, or the actual threat, from the situation.

While anxiety is a common experience for many people, it can be considered a disorder when it is recurrent, persistent, intense, and interferes with basic life tasks such as work and sleep.

Recognizing fear

The facial expression of fear is often confused with surprise. While both expressions show distinctly raised eyebrows, a fear expression's eyebrows are straighter and more horizontal whereas in surprise they are raised and curved. The upper eyelid is also lifted higher in fear than in surprise, exposing more sclera (white of the eye). Finally, the lips are tensed and stretched in fear but more open and slack in surprise.

Source: The Paul Ekman Group

Vocal expression of fear

When experiencing fear, one’s voice often has a higher pitch and more strained tone. One may also scream.

Sensations of fear

Common sensations include feeling cold and shortness of breath. It also may include sweating and trembling or tightening of muscles in the arms and legs.

Posture of fear

The posture of fear can either be one of mobilizing or immobilizing- freezing or moving away.

The function of fear

The universal function of fear is to avoid or reduce harm. Depending on what we have learned in the past about what can protect us in dangerous situations, we are capable of doing many things we wouldn’t typically be able, or willing, to do in order to stop the threat.

The immediate threat of harm focuses our attention, mobilizing us to cope with the danger. In this way, fear can actually save our lives by forcing us to react without having to think about it (e.g., jumping out of the way of a car coming at us). The evolutionary preset actions of fear include fight, flight and freezing.

Responding to fear in ourselves

While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe. It can, however, also keep us feeling trapped and prevent us from doing things we’d like to. Whereas some people find fear nearly intolerable and avoid the emotion at all costs, others experience pleasure from feeling fear and seek it out (i.e., watching a horror film).

Responding to fear in others

It takes a well-developed capacity for compassion to respect, feel sympathetic toward, and patiently reassure someone who is afraid of something we are not afraid of (most of us dismiss such fears). We do not need to feel another person's fear to accept it and help them cope.

Paul Ekman is a well-known psychologist and co-discoverer of micro expressions. He was named one of the 100 most influential people in the world by TIME magazine in 2009. He has worked with many government agencies, domestic and abroad. Dr. Ekman has compiled over 50 years of his research to create comprehensive training tools to read the hidden emotions of those around you. You can read this article on his website here.

The Atlas of Emotions

In collaboration with the Dalai Lama, Drs. Paul and Eve Ekman created an online, interactive map of emotions to increase emotional awareness and compassion on a global front. 

The motivations behind this project are simple: we don't know what we don't know, and many of us don't know what we're feeling or why--we simply react! By expanding our understanding and use of greater emotional vocabularies, each of us will be better equipped to notice, learn from, and manage emotional triggers and responses.

The Atlas of Emotions is available for free to the public free as an online educational resource.

Cultivating Empathy and Compassion

By Dr. Paul Ekman

Dr. Ekman describes the steps towards feeling empathy and acting compassionately, as well as the different forms of compassion. 

Recognizing Emotion

The first step toward being empathetic and acting compassionately is to recognize how someone is feeling and, in particular, when they are suffering. This is often the simplest and easiest step of the process. For the most part, people are pretty skilled at recognizing how others are feeling when others clearly express emotional information through their words, facial expressions, and other nonverbal communication. However, it can be harder when someone masks or conceals their emotions. Emotional information may still be leaked, however, in the form of a micro expression. It can also be harder for some people to recognize the emotions of others, particularly if they are on the autism spectrum. Dr. Ekman’s online micro expression training tools are geared towards teaching you to quickly and accurately detect the macro, micro and subtle expressions of others in real time. 

Knowing how someone feels is the first step towards acting compassionately as we can not relieve the suffering of others if we don’t know they are suffering in the first place. On the other hand, recognizing the emotions and suffering of others does not guarantee we will respond compassionately, as it is possible to know how someone is feeling but not be concerned or interested in their wellbeing. 

Emotional Resonance

The next step after recognizing emotion is experiencing emotional resonance. I distinguish two types of emotional resonance: identical resonance and reactive resonance

  • Identical resonance is when you realize someone is in pain and you feel that same suffering. You actually physically experience a version of the other person’s pain.

  • Reactive resonance is when you realize someone is suffering and you have an emotional response (care and concern) to their suffering, but you don’t actually feel their pain.

With some exceptions, most people usually resonate with others on some level. Most people love to be in the company of highly emotional resonant people, as it can help them feel seen and heard. On the other hand, highly resonant and empathetic people need to be careful about preventing burnout by maintaining healthy boundaries and finding ways to care for themselves and stay resourced.  

Feeling emotional resonance is an important part of maintaining relationships with the people we love and for growing the roots to all forms of compassion. 

 Types of Compassion: Familial, Global, Sentient and Heroic

I distinguish different types of compassion based on who our compassion is aimed at and how we act in response. 

  • Familial compassion is the most common form of compassion. It is compassion we have for a family member who is suffering. Like the emotions, it is universal to the species and it can even be observed in other species. I believe familial compassion is the seed that can grow to extend to other people, and even all beings.

  • Global compassion is a concern to alleviate the suffering of anyone, regardless of their nationality, language, culture, or religion. Global compassion is when compassion is felt toward all human beings, and it is a central concern in someone’s life.

  • Sentient being compassion is compassion towards all living beings (not just humans). This type of compassion is sometimes aligned with certain religions and philosophies.

  • Heroic compassion is when someone takes action to protect the wellbeing of others despite the consequences and risks of doing so (in extreme instances, potential death). To be considered heroic compassion, this action is taken with no expectation of reward or recognition, but rather as a form of extreme altruism.

 Paul Ekman is a well-known psychologist and co-discoverer of micro expressions. He was named one of the 100 most influential people in the world by TIME magazine in 2009. He has worked with many government agencies, domestic and abroad. Dr. Ekman has compiled over 50 years of his research to create comprehensive training tools to read the hidden emotions of those around you.