Emotional Intelligence

On Fear and being Afraid

Source: Atlas of Emotions

 In my dictionary of Feelings and Needs, Afraid is defined as “a feeling of fear, dread, or apprehension in response to a perceived threat or impending danger.”

The following are listed as synonyms: Fearful, Apprehensive, Scared, Terrified

In this post, renown emotions expert Dr Paul Ekman provides further guidance on fear:

What is Fear?

Fear is one of the seven universal emotions experienced by everyone around the world. Fear arises with the threat of harm, either physical, emotional, or psychological, real or imagined. While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe as it mobilizes us to cope with potential danger.

Feeling fear

The family of fearful experiences can be distinguished in terms of three factors:

  • Intensity: How severe is the harm that is threatened?

  • Timing: Is the harm immediate or impending?

  • Coping: What, if any, actions can be taken to reduce or eliminate the threat?

When we are able to cope with the threat, this lessens or removes the fear. Alternatively, when we are helpless to decrease the threat of harm, this intensifies the fear.

Fear can sometimes take place immediately following surprise and often oscillates with the experience of anger.

What makes us fearful

The universal trigger for fear is the threat of harm, real or imagined. This threat can be for our physical, emotional or psychological well-being. While there are certain things that trigger fear in most of us, we can learn to become afraid of nearly anything.

Common fear triggers:

  • Darkness or loss of visibility of surroundings

  • Heights and flying

  • Social interaction and/or rejection

  • Snakes, rodents, spiders and other animals

  • Death and dying

Moods and disorders

Persistent fear can sometimes be referred to as anxiety if we feel constantly worried without knowing why. The inability to identify the trigger prevents us from being able to remove ourselves, or the actual threat, from the situation.

While anxiety is a common experience for many people, it can be considered a disorder when it is recurrent, persistent, intense, and interferes with basic life tasks such as work and sleep.

Recognizing fear

The facial expression of fear is often confused with surprise. While both expressions show distinctly raised eyebrows, a fear expression's eyebrows are straighter and more horizontal whereas in surprise they are raised and curved. The upper eyelid is also lifted higher in fear than in surprise, exposing more sclera (white of the eye). Finally, the lips are tensed and stretched in fear but more open and slack in surprise.

Source: The Paul Ekman Group

Vocal expression of fear

When experiencing fear, one’s voice often has a higher pitch and more strained tone. One may also scream.

Sensations of fear

Common sensations include feeling cold and shortness of breath. It also may include sweating and trembling or tightening of muscles in the arms and legs.

Posture of fear

The posture of fear can either be one of mobilizing or immobilizing- freezing or moving away.

The function of fear

The universal function of fear is to avoid or reduce harm. Depending on what we have learned in the past about what can protect us in dangerous situations, we are capable of doing many things we wouldn’t typically be able, or willing, to do in order to stop the threat.

The immediate threat of harm focuses our attention, mobilizing us to cope with the danger. In this way, fear can actually save our lives by forcing us to react without having to think about it (e.g., jumping out of the way of a car coming at us). The evolutionary preset actions of fear include fight, flight and freezing.

Responding to fear in ourselves

While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe. It can, however, also keep us feeling trapped and prevent us from doing things we’d like to. Whereas some people find fear nearly intolerable and avoid the emotion at all costs, others experience pleasure from feeling fear and seek it out (i.e., watching a horror film).

Responding to fear in others

It takes a well-developed capacity for compassion to respect, feel sympathetic toward, and patiently reassure someone who is afraid of something we are not afraid of (most of us dismiss such fears). We do not need to feel another person's fear to accept it and help them cope.

Paul Ekman is a well-known psychologist and co-discoverer of micro expressions. He was named one of the 100 most influential people in the world by TIME magazine in 2009. He has worked with many government agencies, domestic and abroad. Dr. Ekman has compiled over 50 years of his research to create comprehensive training tools to read the hidden emotions of those around you. You can read this article on his website here.

Good News about Emotional Intelligence (as it relates to AI)

By Daniel Goleman,

According to a new report from Microsoft,  about 300 million jobs in the future will be impacted by artificial intelligence. This will mean a new way of working -- AI and humans side-by-side. And a global survey of leaders, the report says, targets three abilities as the “new core competencies”: analytical reasoning, flexibility, and emotional intelligence. 

This conclusion comes from Microsoft’s new Work Trend Index report, a globalsurvey of 31,000 people.

And the BBC reports that while AI will impact millions of jobs in the future, there are two key skill sets its unlikely to overtake: innovation and emotional intelligence.

At the same time, there’s good news for anyone who wants to enhance their emotional intelligence. Belgian researchers report a meta-analysis of more than 150 separate studies with a total of 51,000 people finds that emotional intelligence is a critical skill for career success.

The report highlights the key role adaptability – one of a dozen competencies in my EI model – plays in adjusting to new work realities and coping with any difficulties they might bring.

Another aspect of emotional intelligence that helps over the course of your career stems from the EI strengths of self-awareness and self-management: the self-confidence that you can handle your emotional reactions to whatever surprises work (or life) bring.

The research showed that people higher in EI are more satisfied with their jobs – that is, less likely to quit – which signals they make better career decisions in keeping with their motive and interest, and can adapt to the realities of their job.

And because they are better at managing their own emotions, they tend to be easier to work with, more popular among their workmates – the people others like to be around.

The really good news: the research makes clear that the emotional intelligence skills set is learnable.

Unlike our IQ, which is fairly fixed from birth, EI is learned in life – and can be improved at any point, if we are motivated.