You finally said you were hurt, and got a wall of reasons back. The words "you're being defensive" are right there on your tongue. Before you say them, here is what actually gets your hurt to land, even when you are right that they are defending.
How to Stop Getting Accused of Being Defensive
Storied Feelings: When a Feeling Carries a Story
On Fear and being Afraid
In this excerpt from the Atlas of Emotions, Dr. Paul Ekman explores fear as one of the universal human emotions. He examines fear's triggers, physical sensations, facial expressions, vocal cues, and evolutionary purpose, while highlighting the important role fear plays in protecting us from harm and helping us respond to danger.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
What is emotional intelligence, and how is it different from emotional literacy? Drawing on Daniel Goleman's influential definition, this article explores the relationship between emotional intelligence, emotional literacy, empathy, self-awareness, and relationship skills, and why developing emotional literacy is often the first step toward greater emotional intelligence.
Four Ways We Avoid Our Feelings—and What to Do Instead
What are faux feelings and how can mediators can use them to get to the heart of the matter?
Can words like betrayed, ignored, disrespected, or manipulated really be considered feelings? In this mediation story, John Ford explores the concept traditionally known in Nonviolent Communication as "faux feelings" and explains how such expressions can serve as valuable clues to the deeper feelings and needs beneath conflict. Updated with reflections on why he now prefers the term "storied feelings."
The Atlas of Emotions
The Atlas of Emotions, developed by Paul Ekman and Eve Ekman in collaboration with the Dalai Lama, is an interactive map designed to help people better understand their emotional lives. By exploring the five emotion families and the pathways that connect them, we can develop greater emotional literacy, self-awareness, and compassion.
Tips to Maximize Your Conflict Resolution Experience
Conflict resolution conversations rarely succeed by accident. Drawing on principles from mediation, negotiation, emotional intelligence, and empathic communication, John Ford outlines ten practical strategies that can help participants prepare effectively, communicate more clearly, listen more deeply, and increase the likelihood of reaching mutually beneficial agreements.