Trust grows when people feel understood. In this brief reflection, Natalie Doyle Oldfield highlights the connection between empathy and trust, reminding us that people are more likely to trust those who genuinely understand them, "get" them, and demonstrate care through empathic connection.
On Fear and being Afraid
In this excerpt from the Atlas of Emotions, Dr. Paul Ekman explores fear as one of the universal human emotions. He examines fear's triggers, physical sensations, facial expressions, vocal cues, and evolutionary purpose, while highlighting the important role fear plays in protecting us from harm and helping us respond to danger.
Why Does Empathy Matter in Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is often discussed as a decision or an act of letting go, but Emily Hooks argues that empathy is one of the essential capacities that makes forgiveness possible. In this thoughtful essay, she explores the role empathy plays in forgiving others, extending compassion to ourselves, and finding freedom from resentment and judgment.
Good News about Emotional Intelligence (as it relates to AI)
As artificial intelligence transforms the workplace, what uniquely human skills will become more valuable? Drawing on research from Microsoft, the BBC, and a large meta-analysis of emotional intelligence studies, Daniel Goleman argues that emotional intelligence, adaptability, and self-awareness will remain essential for career success in an AI-powered world.
Six Ways to Deal With Someone Who Wronged You
Empathic Listening 101
What does it mean to truly listen empathically? This introductory guide explores six core listening practices: presence, following the speaker's lead, encouragement, empathizing, clarification, and summarizing. Together, these skills help people feel heard, understood, and connected while reducing misunderstanding and conflict.
According to ChatGPT, empathy is....
In 2023, I asked ChatGPT to define empathy. Its answer was surprisingly good: empathy involves understanding and sharing another person's feelings and perspectives. Yet the more I reflected on the response, the more I realized that defining empathy is only the beginning. This short reflection explores what AI captured accurately and what deeper dimensions of empathy deserve attention.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
What is emotional intelligence, and how is it different from emotional literacy? Drawing on Daniel Goleman's influential definition, this article explores the relationship between emotional intelligence, emotional literacy, empathy, self-awareness, and relationship skills, and why developing emotional literacy is often the first step toward greater emotional intelligence.
Four Ways We Avoid Our Feelings—and What to Do Instead
What are faux feelings and how can mediators can use them to get to the heart of the matter?
Can words like betrayed, ignored, disrespected, or manipulated really be considered feelings? In this mediation story, John Ford explores the concept traditionally known in Nonviolent Communication as "faux feelings" and explains how such expressions can serve as valuable clues to the deeper feelings and needs beneath conflict. Updated with reflections on why he now prefers the term "storied feelings."
What is Empathy?
Drawing on a definition offered by Paul Bellet and Michael Maloney, this reflection explores empathy as the capacity to understand another person's experience from within their frame of reference. While simple, the definition points toward a deeper practice of listening, curiosity, perception, and imagination that lies at the heart of empathic connection.
The Importance of Empathy
Empathy is often described as the ability to put ourselves in another person's shoes. But empathy is more than simply understanding another person's perspective. It is a way of paying attention that helps us listen more deeply, build stronger relationships, navigate conflict more skillfully, and respond with greater care.
This short animated video offers an engaging introduction to empathy and why it matters in an increasingly divided world. While simple, it highlights many of the themes explored throughout this site: curiosity, perspective-taking, emotional awareness, and human connection.
Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings
What is the difference between a feeling and a judgment? In this article, John Kinyon explores the NVC distinction between feelings and what were traditionally called "faux feelings"—words such as betrayed, ignored, and disrespected. Accompanied by a contemporary editorial note, the post also traces the evolution from "faux feelings" to the more nuanced concept of storied feelings, where the feeling is real but the language carries a story about cause, interpretation, or blame.
The Atlas of Emotions
The Atlas of Emotions, developed by Paul Ekman and Eve Ekman in collaboration with the Dalai Lama, is an interactive map designed to help people better understand their emotional lives. By exploring the five emotion families and the pathways that connect them, we can develop greater emotional literacy, self-awareness, and compassion.
The Science of Emotions & Relationships | Huberman Lab Podcast #13
In this episode of the Huberman Lab Podcast, neuroscientist Andrew Huberman explores the biology of emotions, attachment, and relationships. Drawing on neuroscience research, he examines how early attachment experiences, adolescence, hormones, and neurochemistry shape our emotional lives and influence how we connect with others throughout adulthood.
Empathy vs Sympathy: The Real Difference (and Why Sympathy Gets Such a Bad Name)
Empathy and sympathy are often contrasted, with empathy celebrated and sympathy criticized. In this reflection, John Ford explores the important distinctions between the two, argues that sympathy may be more misunderstood than flawed, and explains how shared experience can support empathy when it is used in service of understanding another person's experience rather than shifting attention to our own.
Helen Riess on Empathy
In this excerpt from The Empathy Effect, Dr. Helen Riess explores empathy as a human capacity rather than a single trait. She argues that empathy involves perceiving, processing, and responding to another person's experience, while also checking for empathic accuracy. Her work highlights that empathy is not simply something we are born with, but a skill that can be developed and strengthened.
NVC Lifehacks 51: Negotiating a time out
Stephen Covey on the Talking Stick
Why did Stephen Covey describe the talking stick as "one of the most powerful communication tools" he had ever encountered? In this excerpt from The 8th Habit, Covey explains how the talking stick creates understanding before problem-solving, transforming conflict into cooperation and helping people feel genuinely heard.
Talking Stick: Peacemaking as a Spiritual Path
Stephan Beyer explores the talking stick as a core practice of council and circle process. By allowing only the person holding the talking piece to speak, the circle creates a space for attentive listening, equal participation, and thoughtful reflection. The result is not only greater order and safety, but a deeper sense of community and shared understanding.